Let’s go for a record

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OK, this borders on the absurd. But this winter has been absurd, and we need something outlandish to shake us all out of the gloomy grind that accompanies a perpetual cycle of snowstorms.

You’ve heard it asked over and over: Where are we going to put all of this snow? Streets have become canyons and intersections treacherous, as often you can’t see anything until you’re out in the road…and then it could be too late.

So, let’s look at this from a different perspective.

What can we do with all this snow?

Our answer: a snowman. This would be no ordinary snowman, but the biggest snowman, a world record.

No doubt critics would chant, “Taxpayers’ dollars are being wasted on building a snowman.” They would be right, of course. Taxpayers’ funds would need to be spent to deposit all the snow in one place. But consider that the money would be spent to move it all someplace anyhow.

And where would you put it?

We need a location easily accessible to city and state roads – the state, after all, is looking for a place to throw snow – and visible to the public. The fun of this is going to be watching the mound grow, and those news reports that the giant snowman is yet another 10 feet taller today.

From the looks of things, we won’t be running out of building material. We could even invite other municipalities and private contractors to dump their snow there. Who knows, the smallest state may become renowned for the world’s biggest snowman.

Got a name for the snowman?

Well, we’ll leave that to the creators.

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