Life Matters

Practicing my water slide pose

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When hubby and I left for vacation from Boston yesterday, we expected the usual airport and airplane challenges, and we were not disappointed.  Just getting the luggage from the drop off point to the service counter was an “Amazing Race” obstacle course:  the team which gets their very heavy luggage through a series of obstacles in the least amount of time wins. 

I gamely pulled my case of what felt like cement in a spontaneous back and forth fashion to get through the throngs of people on the sidewalk.  They seemed more like automatons who didn’t glance sideways or acknowledge me, preferring to walk at warp speed knocking everything and everyone down in their way.

I made it to the terminal door with me and my luggage unharmed. Hubby, of course, had barreled through the people and was waiting inside. We easily made it to the counter to get our boarding pass and check our luggage.  But WAIT! We had to first go to a computer and figure out how to get our OWN boarding pass!  What a delight!  I hadn’t expected to be able to play a computer game along the way, and expertly retrieved our boarding passes in a matter of (many) minutes. There was one last obstacle to complete; the waiting queue comprised of over 20 zig zags heading to the check in counter.  Even though there was only a handful of people waiting in line, we had to maneuver through the entire queue in order to complete this challenge.

Dragging my bag of cement, I did okay for the first 5 twists, had slowed down by the 10th, struggled through the 15th, and completed the 20th like someone parched walking through the desert; hunched over, dragging my feet, tongue handing out, moving an inch at a time and ready to collapse at any minute. It was with great relief to finally deposit my luggage at the counter.  As for our standing in the “Amazing Race”, we came in 2,343th.  Next time we vacation, we will definitely leave from Green Airport!

The flight itself was an awful experience.  A long, 6 ½ hour, uncomfortable flight. Flying has always been fun and exciting for me.  The difference this time was that the aisle seat next to me was occupied by a “plump” individual. Normally I love plump people. I AM plump. Hubby is plump. But plump people should sit next to skinny people, not people of similar body size.  (Thus comes the challenge when having assigned seats rather than the pick your own seat system Southwest uses.)  Honoring my seat mate’s personal space, every effort was made not to make body contact on both of our parts.  He often sat with his hands clasped behind his head or holding onto the seat in front of him.  He took at least 10 trips to the bathroom, which surely was more due to having more personal space in the bathroom rather than actually using the room. For my part, I found one position that made me as skinny as possible and I stuck with it throughout the entire flight.  With my legs stretched in front of me, ankles crossed and my seat back back, I crossed my arms (dead man style) on my chest and tried to relax. Relaxation was impossible, and by the end of the flight, my body had permanently frozen in position, which normally would be a negative thing.  However, NEXT week I am speaking at a conference in Florida with my daughter, Marie.  Sure that we will go to a themed water park, I am ahead of the game having already practiced my body position for the water slide!

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