‘Afraid she would be stigmatized’

Hearing 10-year-old Gabby Pascale describe how she feels at her worst was devastating.

“Sometimes I just feel like I want to die, because it’s really hard and I just want to die so I don’t feel like that anymore,” said Gabby.

A fourth-grade student at Winsor Hill Elementary, Gabby was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a little over a year ago. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.

Moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior, known as manic episodes, to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods, known as depressive episodes.

The road to Gabby’s diagnosis wasn’t an easy one for the Pascale family.

“It’s kind of been going on since she was an infant, honestly, but the diagnosis has changed over time. Originally they thought she might be colicky and then it was she’s allergic to milk so we put her on soy formula,” said Gabby’s mom, Nikki. “Then it was the terrible twos type of thing, and she ended up in pedi-partial at Bradley at three. She was then diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder and anxiety.”

Nikki and her husband, Jack, later followed doctor’s suggestions and placed Gabby on Prozac, and said the choice wasn’t an easy one but that Gabby just wasn’t able to function and she couldn’t leave the house.

“It was really, really hard, and when she got on the medicine things started to turn around and it did help, and then she went a few years when we were treating her for anxiety,” said Nikki. “After a few years, because we had put her on the medication so young, I was really stressed out as a mom. I didn’t know what the affects were going to be, it was really hard.”

Once Gabby appeared to be doing well, a decision was made to take her off medication. She did okay for a little while, but then things kind of got “really out of control” and that’s Jack and Nikki “started seeing two different Gabby’s.”

“We’d take her somewhere and we didn’t know which one we were going to get,” said Nikki.

Others noticed a change as well, and the family felt like what Gabby was going through was something different. Her parents conducted exhaustive research and consulted with multiple doctors.

Eventually, they met with Dr. Daniel Dickstein, who leads Bradley Hospital’s Pediatric Mood, Imaging, & Neuro Development program, who made a bipolar and anxiety diagnosis.

“I absolutely feel it’s the correct diagnosis,” said Nikki, who added the Gabby’s improved quite a bit on the medicines she prescribed. Currently, Gabby takes Risperidonn (an antipsychotic medicine), Prozac, and Metformin to help control weigh gain caused by the previous two medicines.

“When she was first diagnosed with a mental illness I was afraid she would be stigmatized. I tried to explain that it wasn’t something everyone understood and that she may not want to tell just anyone. She refused to accept that,” said Nikki. “This amazing little girl made a mission of getting mental illness out in the open.”

Gabby has taken part in a research project at Bradley Hospital. She’s organized a team to participate in last years NAMI walk (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and raised over $800 towards their cause of building better lives for those affected by mental illness. She’s also helped with a research project at Bradley Hospital.

Recently, she approached her school administrators to organize a Mental Health Awareness day for Winsor Hill. Planned for June 9, she thought it would be a good idea for the students to wear green in support of mental health, and for participants to bring a $1 donation for the research department at Bradley Hospital. Gabby’s plans include an “awareness walk” around the school that day, and hopes other schools in town will join in with similar efforts to help others who suffer.

“I want to have different treatments, and different medicines than they have now because has a lot of bad side effects. So to try and find medicines that don’t have side effects or other treatment options,” said Gabby.

“Depending on her mood it’s hard to be optimistic some days but she’s a strong kid,” said Nikki. "She just want things to change, it’s frustrating. When a kid gets diagnosed with something serious, sometimes casseroles are brought over, or there are offers for babysitting. You don’t get that with this, and it’s hard.”