Comedy heals all wounds

Netflix aired the Roast of Tom Brady on Sunday night and it delivered. It was everything that you’d hope a roast would be and what a roast should be about.

Like most people, I was skeptical.

Tom Brady is arguably the greatest athlete in American sports history and lives a charmed life. How much dirt could the roasters really have on him?

Most of the roasters were old players and team personnel, not comedians. How funny could they possibly be?

Well, within the first five minutes it was clear that Brady had plenty of shenanigans to chew on and the presenters were ready to go. It was three hours of comedy gold.

After the live event ended, I was impressed and felt my jaws hurting from smiling so much. As I began to process it throughout the day on Monday, I began to realize what my biggest takeaway from the night was.

Time does not heal all wounds … comedy does.

In the past handful of seasons, there has been a lot of drama in Foxboro. As a lifelong Patriots fan, the dynasty ended in a way that I always feared. It ended with ego, tension, finger pointing, and passive aggression, primarily between the three Patriot figureheads in Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick and Brady.

Brady left town in 2020 because he could no longer tolerate Belichick and his rigid ways. He was resentful toward Kraft for not having his back, either.

Kraft recently fired Belichick, and after the 10-part docuseries covering the team’s historic run, it was clear that Kraft was also sick of the Belichick shtick. In turn, Belichick saw Brady as self-centered toward the end while also feeling like Kraft became a micromanager. It was an ugly divorce.

As the final years wore on, more and more stories of the drama leaked to the press. The three of them did their best to deflect and downplay the reports, oftentimes denying them outright. That is the appropriate thing to do.

However, where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and there was a massive cloud of smoke hovering over the entire New England region in the past seven or eight years and these issues were finally addressed on Sunday night.

Brady is retired and Belichick is not coaching. The time was finally right for the three of them to lay it all out there, let go and move on. What they accomplished as a team may never be matched.

It felt therapeutic. The three were brutally honest and held nothing back. Not only did they have the license to finally be transparent in front of the world, but it was encouraged. Sure, a few jokes made each of them shrink in their chairs while the audience fell out of theirs. Again, they certainly did not take it easy on each other.

That was the perfect environment to bury the hatchet, though. It was a safe place in front of an engaging audience. It’s hard to be insulted when that’s the whole point.

As a husband, a son, a brother, I believe in transparency. Half the battle of working through your differences with others is acknowledging what is bothering you. Admittedly, I am probably a little too transparent at times, but I am a firm believer in saying what’s bothering you and why it is upsetting.

In such a public business like professional football, those legends never really had the opportunity. Not to mention they were co-workers, there is only so much you can say out loud in the office.

Although it is unlikely that the three of them will ever be best buds, it was great to see that there is enough respect between the three of them that they can be in the same room and enjoy each other’s company. That final toast between Belichick and Kraft did feel a little forced, but the fact that they did it at all was encouraging.

Things got personal in the final years, there are things they’ll probably never fully let go of. But Sunday night showed that, in general terms, they have forgiven and forgotten. When watching the three of them up there, it almost felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders. There was no more need to whisper to others or hold onto resentment. They each had the floor to openly jab one another and they did just that. Now that, my friends, is the best form of therapy.

Let’s get to the fun part. Here are a few of my favorite gags from the roast. Note, these are not transcriptions, as most of them would not be appropriate for print if quoted directly. Heck, I could only find a few that were usable. This was certainly not a family event.

Julian Edelman to Belichick: “Remember when you used to yell at us, ‘The kids down at Foxboro High could make that play!’ Well, Foxboro High was the only job offer you had! ‘Do your job?’ More like ‘need a job,’ Coach.”

Belichick to Rob Gronkowski: “I’ve been watching you on FOX NFL Sunday, and I’m begging you, please stop doing your job.”

Drew Bledsoe to (recently divorced) Brady: “I’ve experienced a couple of things you’ll never experience. The feeling of being the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL, and a 28th wedding anniversary.”

Brady to Roger Goodell and the NFL: “The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more ‘probable’ than not, that I was ‘generally’ aware that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the 20 mil and I would’ve just told you I did it!”